A perfect ceremony for your big day


I have a number of pre-written ceremonies available, and will customize to your every desire. I can incorporate religious or cultural elements of your choosing, drawing from old traditions or new ideas. I love theme weddings, and will work with you to realize your dream theme! Ceremony length can be anywhere from "short and sweet" to "beautifully elaborate". Or, perhaps you have always wanted to have a dear friend or family member perform your wedding? I can help with that too!

One in-person consultation (and further email correspondence) is included in all customized wedding experiences. I am also available for rehearsals for a modest additional cost. Please contact me for availability and fees. 


Love is patient, Love is kind. 


For couples that wish to renew their vows on a special occasion (10th anniversary? 25th?), a Vow Renewal Service is a wonderful way to re-declare your commitment to each other. I can help you plan and perform a ceremony for friends and family, customized to your every desire. An in-person consultation and subsequent email correspondence is included in the service package. Please contact me for details.  


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Celebration of Life

Custom Ceremony and Eulogy Writing



Celebrating the life of a loved one 

I can help create a celebration of life ceremony, wake, or remembrance service to help you honour the life of a departed loved one. I can perform simple ceremonies, or help in writing eulogies. I will work with you to put together a fitting tribute. Sliding scale pricing available. Please contact me for availability and rates. If the Celebration of Life is happening very soon (within one or two days), please call 416-920-0004 and leave a message with details and I will get back to you within the hour. 


Holistic Biographical Accounting


If you would like a comprehensive, thorough, and completely honest accounting of the life of a departed loved one, I can be a Speaker for the Dead. This service takes time and will be costly. I will conduct research and interviews with friends, family, co-workers, current and former employers, neighbours, and business associates of the deceased, and gather all data and information to which I am permitted access. I will accrue all details, gather all available facts, and dig deep for all nuanced qualities to established as-complete-a-profile as possible. I will present my findings either as a written report, or during a wake/ceremony of remembrance. Given the depth of this service, the timeline can be anywhere from days to months, so this is not a practical option for traditional Celebration of Life ceremonies. Rates for this service vary based on complexity, and can be discussed. This is not a eulogy-writing service, but, rather; a full, thorough and honest investigation into the life of a departed loved one. Please contact me to discuss. 


Other Custom Ceremonies

As the founder and reverend for the Centre for the Embrace of Beauty in the Absurd, I have a commitment to inclusiveness, flexibility, and accommodation. I want you to celebrate, commemorate, or mark the occasion in a way that you are comfortable with, and I am always eager to expand my own experiences by helping someone new with their needs. I am your Reverend-for-Hire, and I'm here to help. Here are some of the ceremonies that I can help with; 

Baby Naming Ceremony, in marble! 

Baby Naming Ceremony, in marble! 

Baby Naming Ceremony

If you wish to celebrate your baby, a Baby Naming Ceremony is a great way to present your little babe to your friends and family. We can work together to sculpt a ceremony that is both sweet and fun. A great ceremony to officially join the baby into the larger friend/family circle! 




Sage smoke is antiseptic! Truly purifying! 

Sage smoke is antiseptic! Truly purifying! 

new space, new start

Perhaps you're in a new office space, or finally bought your first house! Or you've moved into a great new apartment in a very old building- whatever the reason, new starts in new and old spaces sometimes need to start with a cleanse. We can burn sage in a smudging ceremony, light incense, open windows and place salt across the threshold; there are many different ceremonies to mark the occasion of being in a 'new space', and I can help with them! 


St. Joseph, statue? 

St. Joseph, statue? 

I can dig it

Want to sell your home with the aid of St.Joseph? I can help with the ceremony. Marking the solstice with a Canticle to The Sun? I'll lead! Did you just uncork a barrel in early November and want to celebrate the New Wine feast of San Martino? I know just the ceremony! Did you write the true name of G-d onto a scroll, then stuck it in the third eye of a mud golem, bringing the vengeful creature to life? I CANNOT HELP WITH THAT. But I'm available for many other ceremonies. It never hurts to ask!